Yeah, life isn’t always easy, and sometimes bad things come in groups. In the past year, since last May to be exact, many things have happened.
I was diagnosed with O.C.D., after almost ten years from the first signs of it. This O.C.D. brought me to a breaking point and caused me depression and suicidal thoughts. I started therapy and taking meds. After a couple of months, a big part of the factory where my mom amd brother were working was burnt. My brother who was working in production stopped working, but my mom continued working in the offices of the factory. But, since I don’t have a day job, I had to go back to my parent’s house for some months. A couple of weeks after the fire, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She did chemo and these days she’s going into surgery. Thankfully her cancer is treatable. And, last weekend my father almost died from kidney failure. He survived and is going on dialysis, probably for the rest of his life.
It’s so funny, that as I’m writing and reading the last lines all these seem so surreal! Yes, bad things happen all together sometimes, this is a fact. But, the difference is made from the way each person decides to react and act to things.
Personally, I prefer fighting. I say that “when life gives you the middle finger, you give her the middle finger back”. I’m a fighter, and I try to make even the worst things work in the best way possible (a kind of positive thinking, but more of a way of working with things, so I can get something positive out of them).
In the last year of my life, many things (some of them really bad) have happened. BUT,… my mom’s cancer is treatable, my O.C.D. is going well, I’m doing great with psychotherapy, and most importantly I can now say that I’m learning to live.
Really live, not just going through every day. But, becoming a better and stronger human, becoming better friends with myself, taking control of my life and learning what really matters in life.
Even in the worst situations, there’s always something good you can dig up!
In life, there’s only one thing that you cannot cheat and will definitely come for you at some point. The irony in this is that one thing is the end of life.
Personally I believe that we are born, we live our lives and we die. It’s that simple. But still death is one of the greatest fears and taboos.
My greatest fear, was the death of my mother. I couldn’t even think about it. I use past tense, because I’m in the process of making peace with the idea. My mother has cancer, she will recover fully, but all this cancer thing was the chance for me to work with the idea that some day she will die. And it makes me think how I would like to spend the time I have left, with her, with everyone around me and which things I would like to do, before it’s too late. Yeah, there’s something weird about it the closer death comes to you (in any way), the more you realize what life really means.
It’s not easy to accept the fact of your favorite people’s death, it’s an ongoing process. A good sense of humor and maybe the love for the macabre can help. Can help with figuring out a couple of things, because I think that you can never figure out everything. But can always try!
1st P.S. The title is from “The man comes around” by Johny Cash. The first photo is from Ingmar Bergman’s “Seventh Seal” and the second from the video of “Show Yourself” by Mastodon.
2nd P.S. I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject!
Lately, I think a lot about the “microcosm”. How it has changed over the years and especially how it has changed over the last months.
Yeah, since it’s basically a personal blog, it makes total sense to change with time, exactly like life does! But, sometimes, I’m thinking if someone takes a look at the posts… is he/she going to understand what the blog is about?!
So, I thought of writing a few words about… life right now.
I’m a 28 year old artist, living in a colorful house (it’s an apartment, but I like the word “home”), in Athens (Greece).
I’m practicing many forms of art (trying to make a career out of them and looking for a day job in the same time). I have three brands (one with colorful/ bohemian handmade jewelry, one with psychobilly/ macabre inspired handmade jewelry and one with my original artwork). I’m a photographer, and a crafter. I’m practicing, so I can do performance art someday.
I have ocd (I’m doing really well lately). And my mother has cancer (she’s doing well and she’s going to do even better).
So, the “microcosm” has every aspect of my life in its posts.
I hope you like the variety!
People are complicated and life is too!