It’s not wonderful world (diary)

No photo for this one. Because I believe that there’s no match. Not 100%.

Lately, while reading articles online, looking around me, or listening to stories and news, I feel more than ever that this isn’t a wonderful world.

I have started to believe that we live in a world that goes through a massive crisis. Wars, people that run for their lives away from these wars, more and more poverty, violence, rapes, murders, fourteen eyes for one. It’s no big news, but I get the sense that things are getting a turn for the worst day by day.

All this seems so sad and scary. Seeing all the hate that grows in people. Instead of humanity becoming better, it becomes worse. Instead of the majority of people working on becoming better, we become more irritable, focusing on our image, hiding what’s not convenient, and even if we talk about important matters or taboo themes, we do it in such an intense way.

Personally, when I see and think about all these, I try to see the other side as well, the good things, the beauty of things. But it’s not always so easy.

Sometimes this idea stucks in my mind: why is the world going so wrong?!

Things that help with anxiety

flat lay photography of white mug beside green leafed plants
Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels.com

Living with anxiety on a daily basis can get really overwhelming sometimes. Each one of us finds his/her own ways to cope. There are plenty of lists online with suggestions of things to do when you feel extra anxious, however I thought of making a post about the things that work for me. So, here it is (in no particular order)!

  • Journaling.

Putting the mess on paper helps to feel calmer and seeing things written down makes it easier to process thoughts and reach to conclusions. Plus, I believe that writing by hand is the best way to keep notes/a diary, typing on a computer doesn’t feel the same at all.

  • Breathing exercises & meditation.

Exercising your breathing is crusial when having anxiety, it’s a whole new world when you’re able to control your breathing. Personally, I have studied singing so it comes naturally to me know and controlĀ  my breathing. But if this isn’t the case for someone, there are plenty of online courses and videos that can help. And now that I’m thinking about it, IĀ  should write a post about breathing.

Meditation is kind of the next step after breathing exercises and mindful breathing. It’s a deep relaxation and good breathing has to come first in order for meditation to work. And even then it takes lots of practise (also a post coming soon)!

  • Food.

Not talking about over-eating or “eating your feelings”, I’m ttalking about the healthy version of eating. A snack or a beverage makes a full stomach, and a full stomach always makes a brain calmer and happier; everything seems better with a full stomach!

  • Taking a break.

It can be a 10-minute break, a vacation, or anythingin between, the idea is to give yourself and your mind some time to relax. It won’t make the anxiety go away, but it’s going to relieve the tension for a while.

  • Move, be active.

An active everyday life or/and frequent exercise is really helpful for a body that goes through huge amounts of stress.

  • Water.

Drinking water can’t only help you in moments of extreme stress/anxiety, like an anxiety attack, it calms down the resperatory system. Plus, keeping hydrated is nothing but helpful when you suffer from anxiety.

  • Being creative.

Doing something creative, making art, is a great way to express your feelings, and looking at the bright side of things and the beauty that can exist in the world. Coloring, drawing, knitting, crocheting, doing any craft project is a good idea!

So, this is all folks (for now)! Take care of yourselves and breath in and out.

The thing with the things

20190919_204332-01.jpeg

As I have written before, I have been decluttering my home/art studio for some time now.

I have given away a lot of things, donated some, gifted some other to friends. There were ( and still are) much to give away: clothes that don’t fit me anymore, things I haven’t used for a long time, some other items that it was time to move on from.

Meanwhile, while going through all these stuff, I have started thinking about the real value of objects.

What’s the real value of an object? The price? The sentimental aspect of it?

Are we the one’s that give value to an object?

Is our need for owning things real after all?

For now, I have reached to the conclusion that the main real value of an object is the way it makes us feel.

As long as I can remember myself, up until this day, I really get attached to objects, so reevaluating all this it’s a big deal for me. But I have realized that in the end of the day, material possessions are not the most important thing in life.

I do have a lot of things, I’m a maximalist, have always been and probably will always be. I like a maximal living and working space. But, I have reached a point where I can choose some things to keep and let go of some other. And this is an ongoing process. I’m trying to find a new balance in my life.

My latest step is to let go even more things. And I had the idea of finding them new homes by selling some. Apart from the earning some extra cash aspect of reselling some things, I’m thinking that when someone is paying to buy something means that he/she really likes it and the object can continue its journey.

I love the idea that something I have worn/read/enjoyed will continue living and being appreciated in another house, in someone else’s life.

So, let’s see where this new project will lead…!

Tired OCD self

For the past couple of years, I have become (some kind of) friends with my OCD. I don’t go against it and we work together.

I’m basically keeping a balance. For example, if a trigger appears, I try to keep my cool and think which is the best way to get over it, I try not to go full compulsive and do as few compulsions as possible. And this system is working pretty good.

For me this is a reconciliation. It’s OCD, it’s here, it has been here for more than a decade, so working alongside it it’s a very good idea.

And here comes the “but”!

Living with an anxiety disorder can be very compounding, for the mind, the body, the life, the person having it. Everyday life is much more tiring when you have to keep whole lists and a ton of checks in your mind. When you have to be careful even about what you touch inside your own house. And in case you’re someone like me, that never gives up, it’s even more tiring. I like to push myself and don’t let my mind taking control. I always try to keep up with my life no matter the OCD, in the best way possible.

But there are moments that I’m getting tired and I’m thinking that life would be much easier without the OCD. These moments have become very frequent for the past couple of weeks.

I’m imagining a life where you don’t have to have a shower before bed, using furniture and objects without first checking if they’re “clean” (sometimes the OCD-clean it’s a different kind than the normal clean, but that’s a story for another post), etc.

I don’t know where this is going to lead, being in therapy is a journey with a lot of unknown paths. For now, this is the fact: I’m tired of life with OCD.