My grandmother’s sister died from cancer.
Their father died from cancer.
Both my grandfathers died from cancer.
I was tested for cancer when I was 20 years old (and I was ok).
Now, my mother has cancer.
The phrase the doctor said to me almost 8 years ago, “You’re fine, there’s nothing wrong”, is still the most important thing anyone has ever told me.
But my mother being sick is a different story. My worst fear is losing her (it won’t happen any time soon, luckily her case is treatable and very positive results are expected from the therapies she’s already doing), but still, moments like these give you plenty food for thought.
And now we fight.
At first there are the ideas, the thoughts. Then the actions. And all these come again; and again; and again. And they keep coming for days, weeks, months, and if you don’t get help soon enough, years.
After some time a part of your daily life is filled with obsessive compulsions. So, life continues with a companion; an almost constant one. You get used to them and that’s a good thing and a bad one in the same time.
The best thing to do is to get help. So, you can have the best possible control over your obsessive compulsions and get better eventually.
It took me some years to reach a point where i was depressed and suicidal, and that was about the time I started getting help.
Now I’m learning to live more properly with my OCD. One day at a time.