Beauty found (no.11)

Sometimes beauty can be found in a textile pattern, part of the laundry of a neighbor….

Advertisements

Diary

Blast from the past (1992 to be exact)…

My 3-year-old self blows the birthday candles.

My 29-year-old self is going to blow the birthday candles on Friday.

Last 20s!

Being 29 is definitely better than being 3, and 9, and 19 (oh, definitely better than that!). Things have started working out, getting to know more things about myself, put some more things inside my nutshell/Mary Poppins bag.

I have lived through some stuff, good and bad, survived everything, to reach this moment.

Celebrating the last age with a “2” in front, feels like an end of an era sometimes; decades passing definitely remind you of time and how precious it is.

But the thing is that there comes a point when you have what you need (as a mind/memories/stamina,etc), to handle time, and life. And this age feels so much like it!

I have reached a point in my journey where I feel more comfortable than ever. And thinking of that, thinking this way, makes feel so grateful!

So, let the birthday week begin!

“Opened my eyes to black” (a poem)

About two years ago, my untreated OCD caused me a period of depression. During that time, I was part of a theater group and we were preparing a performance where we had to work with one poem each.

I tried to work with some, but eventually I wrote one (it’s one of the things I do after all)….

*The original was in Greek, so I translated it, even though I believe poetry loses a little of its “soul” when translated.

Living with OCD (no.11)

Living with OCD, and in general with anxiety, is practically a constant road trip. It goes on and on, with its stops, its ups, and downs. There are the days you feel like you can rule the world, and the other days, when you feel like…not doing much basically.

But let’s get a little more personal.

I have managed to live in balance with my OCD, we have become some kind of friends. I have created a couple of comfort zones (some psychical, some not) and I test my limits almost every day.

Except… the days that I like to call “the break days”!

The days are the ones that I’m not in the best shape/mood. In these days I feel like the only thing that I want is to stay inside my comfort zone(s). For example, stay home, work from there, maybe treat myself to something nice, or pamper myself with a movie and some extra self care.

In the past I would think of these days as “lost”, time that I didn’t take advantage of. But not anymore.

I have learned that listening to the needs that your body and mind have, what they “tell” you, is as important as doing things. Keeping yourself in the best condition possible is crucial for your mental health, your psychical health and for getting things done basically! If you keep pushing your limits, without setting limits to protect yourself, eventually you’re gonna crush. And the truth is that those crushes are damaging.

Plus, I think of these breaks, as a reward on their own. I’m doing what I have to do in life, I have managed difficult situations when I had to, I’m really working with myself and my issues, so why shouldn’t I cut myself some slack and make stop from the road trip that’s called OCD/anxiety/life?