When the idea for this post hit me for the first time, I thought I should pass. But, after some more thinking I thought “no, won’t pass, but I’m gonna do it the Angelina way, the microcosm way”!
So, my experience with the application started one night, while being at a friend’ s house. I thought it would be fun to create an account. (Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe “fun” is just another way for your mind to make you do something you’re scared of doing otherwise. Maybe….). Life was happening for the last couple of years (read the rest of the blog for these details) and having a love interest wasn’t very high in my priorities list.
So, there I was! Hello, guys! I’m here to check things out.
My goal when I opened my account was to meet people and talk.
And I started matching with men and a couple of conversations started…and ended. I ended some of them when the other person was giving me a weird vibe or didn’t like the way the conversation was going. They ended some others when I didn’t accept their offer for a date in the first 15 minutes of conversation. And some other conversations continued, until they didn’t!
While being on Tinder, I had the chance to realize a few things : what I really want, what I don’t want, what I don’t like, what I was too much of a chicken to admit, etc, etc. Lots of food for thought!
Men on the other hand were… interesting cases! If you ask me, the taste that the behavior of my matches left me is in the middle, leaning towards the negative side.
Gathering all the stories, and feelings of my experiences, I ended up with some thoughts:
* It’s so easy to be someone else, or not being your IRL self, inside an app.
* Apart from the need for sex, there is always (and in almost everyone) the need to connect. Share mutual interests, connect, share details of your everyday life, the need for something new/unknown/exciting.
* Being in front of a screen is such a safety net! No eyes looking at you, no physical presence, just algorithms! (Not. Think twice.)
* Things tend to lose their meaning in the online world. And people are the ones that make this happen.
* You come across many psychological issues inside there (minor, major, of your own, of others). It’s like a mini study of the human behavior.
* It’s easier for our conscience to be ok with ghosting, inside an app.
And since I said “human behavior”, I should close with this.
I smell fear (inside me and inside others); I call out fear. Because at the end of the day, behind all the screens/social media/apps/accounts there are people. And being genuine, and connecting and grow (instead of becoming less) are privileges that we humans have and shouldn’t throw them away. We are feeling entities, and fear is just one feeling, there are so many more of them, waiting to be discovered!
P.S. I no longer have an active Tinder account, because I decided that the 3D world is such a better place and Tinder after all is not my cup of tea!