One of the most important things I have learned in therapy, is something that is not necessarily related to my OCD, but it’s very useful for life in general.
Setting my limits where I want/need, create them if needed, keep them. Limits are practically everywhere; in love life, in professional life, in family life, absolutely everywhere.
And setting limits doesn’t mean that you become unapproachable, it just means that you know/love yourself, and you know your needs/desires/stamina/etc, so you learn to say no for example!
But, in life, we all live as parts of a society. We interact with other people. And sometimes there are people who try to trespass those limits.
Lately, I have come along situations like this. Somebody wants me to follow exactly what he/she wants, somebody else tries to prove to me that I’m the one in fault when I talk to him/her about some issues in our relationship, somebody else thinks that I’m available 24/7 to help him/her with his/her problems while in the same time doesn’t recognize mine, etc.
Yes, this post is more about the cases where someone is trying to trespass my limits in purpose or doesn’t respect them so much to stop where they are set.
When something like this happens, I protect myself, I defend my limits without any drama, just talking and showing to others that they should respect me and that I’m not their toy to play with, that I’m a human, an individual with free will and a personality of my own.
But sometimes people keep trying to trespass those limits of mine… and though I can understand part of the psychology behind this behavior, there are a few things that I have in my mind when situations like that happen….
You, who try to trespass my limits…
I can’t say just stop, because you’re a human being, free to do whatever you want. But, I can say that your limits stop where mine begin. And you should respect that.
But, know that I have been through my share of really difficult situations (which I survived in the best way possible). I have dealt all my life with a couple of people trying to manipulate me, and especially after going into therapy for my OCD, I have worked soo much with myself and managed to become a better version of me. And keep trying, having set my limits so I can feel good with myself, working on my obsessions, etc.
So, what makes you think that you can trespass my limits, just so you can make me do and believe your agenda?
I have survived things that made me stronger, I live my daily life with OCD (which means that many times I need to try for things that are really simple for a “normal” person), I have faced my demons, I have faced a parent who caused me a lot of problems since I was a teen, I have went from a person with suicidal throughts to a person that loves herself, I have worked towards finding a balance and peace in my mind/my life.
What makes you think that you can manipulate a person like that?
You not respecting me and my limits may upset me a bit for a while, after having to protect those limits from you, but I already do it, and I can keep doing it for as long as it takes, until I’m tired and show you the exit from my life.
And know, that I can understand why you’re so keen on manipulating others, it’s who you were raised to be, it’s something that fills your gaps and insecurities. But why don’t you choose to become better? Maybe work on your demons and the insecurities that your mind is constantly talking you about….
So, these where just my thoughts, because in some cases you have to give another proper answer to the other person, and not exactly what you have in mind.
Well, this is society, a place full of people interacting with each other…! Roar…!