So, I thought of becoming a member of an OCD oriented Facebook group. And I did so!
I thought it would be interesting to read about other people’s stories and share mine. To connect with people that go through their everyday lives with OCD, like I do. Sharing opinions and ideas is always interesting. And as you can see from this blog I think it’s very important for people to share their stories, create awareness and maybe help others by showing how important it is to get proper help when dealing with mental health issues.
I found a pretty popular group and I joined; for two days.
I expected a platform of people who deal with (anxiety and) OCD, who deal with it and work with it and themselves. What I found was so different!
- So, many people not getting proper professional help for their mental health problems. (I know it isn’t always easy to pay for therapy, but if you really want to, you can find a way to get help somehow).
Having a mental health issue, and not getting treatment for it is so bad. I have been there, and I wish I had gotten help much earlier. You practically don’t know what you have/ how to deal with whatever you have/ what kind of therapy/treatment to get. You have a struggling mind with no support. So, so bad.
- Many people practically asking for diagnosis and help.
Internet is very helpful sometimes, but asking for help from strangers is such a bad idea! It’s one thing people sharing their stories and tips maybe, and another to ask non-professionals to tell you how to treat a mental health disorder (for which you don’t have a proper diagnosis).
- An over-exposure to anxiety.
Well, having anxiety/an anxiety disorder is like having a crowd popping thoughts inside your brain 24/7. And that’s only you. So, I believe that being exposed in the similar situation of dozens of others, on a daily basis, makes you even more stressed and helps that cycle that’s called OCD gloriously keep going.
- Many times people confusing character and disorder.
We should know and never forget that each one of us that has a mental health disorder, has a personality as well, and the two are totally different. We are not our disorder. And not everything that we do/deal with/think/feel is about OCD.
These are the three things that made me leave the group after only two days. I reached the conclusion that I didn’t like the whole thing and that it was potentially bad for all the other members.
Of course, there were a few people that were more collected, knew about OCD, were diagnosed and were dealing with it in the best way possible, but the main feeling of the group was all the above in the list.
I still believe that is important to tell your story, and create awareness, while in the same time dealing with it with its ups and its downs, but I guess a more structured platform would be better. Maybe a place created by mental health professionals who would be able to keep control of everything and truly help people.
And always keeping in mind, and reminding the readers, that myself (and more people out there) are not mental health specialists, but want to share our story and opinions about OCD. So that more and more people understand that it’s here, it’s real, and it’s part of our lives.
And that the best thing to do if you have any mental health issues is to get proper help, have therapy and let a therapist/psychiatrist help you solve your personal problem (it’s different for each one of us and needs to be treated differently).
My everyday life is quite full usually: I have my two handmade jewelry brands (@daily_art_by_angelina & @psychotrinkets) , my art (@drawing_tales), my photography (@a_mavrogianni_photography), my home/ art studio that always needs something done, my – practically fresh- significant other (we don’t live together, but still there’s quite some time devoted to him), my grandma and her second husband next door to me who are both in their mid 80s and have things that have to be done for them. Plus, I live everyday with my OCD in the background. And for the past 4 months I have stopped (the proper way) my medication which I have been taking, for my OCD, for almost 3 years.
A couple weeks ago I made a decision: to try to chill more and focus on my mental health. Just for the tough period of going off the meds (my sweet little brain has to re-adjust, but until then it shows no particular mercy). A wise decision to focus on my mental health.
I didn’t turn off everything, but I try to do less, so I have time to relax and take care of myself more.
I am a control freak, a multitasker that feels like I’m doing something wrong when I’m not doing something 24/7. But, I realized that I had to somehow take some time off, so I can feel better again, after going off my meds. But, still balancing things.
- Posting less on social media (main way to promote my work my work).
- Creating/working less (so, I have a less strict schedule, and more time to relax).
- Not pressuring myself to do a lot of things during the day.
- Trying to keep up with my relationships (but not doing so much that I will feel pressured).
- Doing… nothing (I never do “nothing”, I practically can’t, but I realized that my kind of “doing nothing” is to chill out, do the things that feel good, go through YouTube or Pinterest, not saying to myself “you have to do this and that”, chiiiill; it’s so soothing and relaxing during this tough period).
- Giving some responsibilities (grandma related) to other members of my family, taking a break for a while from them.
- Taking a break from things that put too much pressure on me.
In the meanwhile, life happens, and it’s not always easy to keep up with my decision. But, having set the goal to focus on my mental health is important. Each single day, I try to care of myself, my emotions, my mood, and not let go (keep working towards the better days that are going to come). And some days (who am I kidding, most days), it’s pretty difficult, but the bottom line is loving myself and showing myself this love and care.
The world (and everything) will be here even after this tough period ends!
Watching “X-Men: Apocalypse” for the third time (or maybe fourth).
The thing is that each single time I watch it, I remember the first time I did, back in 2016.
It’s so weird/beautiful/exceptional how our brains associate something with a memory/feeling/period of time.
Back in May of 2016, when the movie was released, I was going through my mental breakdown. My untreated OCD had got me to a point where I was going through depression.
I remember watching “X-Men: Apocalypse” in an almost empty theater (I love going to the movies on my own, and especially early in the afternoon, when there aren’t many viewers), feeling so down, all my emotions out of order, trying to figure out what was going on inside my head, basically wanted to scream out loud many tikes during the day.
And there she was, Jean Grey, having the Dark Phoenix deep inside her subconscious. She was basically everything I was feeling, we were going through such a similar phase.
I remember watching the movie and feeling that the scenes of Jean were the perfect visualization of all the mess inside my head.
It was quite comforting to see what I was feeling. She was screaming when I couldn’t.
And, even though that period is over, I will always have a special connection to this movie, and the character of Dark Phoenix.