Yesterday I noticed the “I have embraced” hashtag on social media. I’m in a procedure of embracing who I really am for many months now, so I immediately wrote it down for future use!
So, this morning I was looking at the mirror my so naturally full hair. Since I was little I loved all those bob haircuts that created a sleek hair effect. I have too much hair, so my hair always looked closer to a lion, than a sleek look. But, I have embraced that, and even being proud of it now. Well, I was born with a great quantity of hair, while other people don’t have that. Many women have to add extensions and other trinkets to their hair, so it looks full or in order to create a special hairstyle. I can just do it with my natural hair.
And one more thing that I think helped in this embracing is all the months I passed next to my mama, while she was in chemo, while she was recovering from her surgery. (I offered to cut some of mine for her, to create a natural wig, but it was too expensive,but I’m planning of donating some of my hair sometime).
Next thing I thought of as I was looking at the mirror was the mole I have close to my chin. I actually have a couple of them around my face. Since I was little I remember thinking that my moles were the first thing someone noticed when they looked at me. Maybe it was, maybe it is, I don’t know really know. But I’ve always been a fan of embracing yourself, so some thoughts of a future removal never became a reality.
I’m not 100% cool with them yet, but. I’m really close to it! (Yeah, I used to think that my nose was too big too, but it’s ok after all. A close selfie isn’t doing it justice).
Then, one big thing is the rest of my body. I used to be really really (naturally) thin. Until a couple of years ago, I used to be a size 36 in jeans. I don’t wear jeans anymore, I prefer dresses (a style thing, not a body conscience thing), but I think I would be a 42 or 44 now.
I started gaining weight a few years ago, been through diets, etc. But for the last year and a half that I’m in therapy for my anxiety, I thought that as well as I’m embracing my inner self, I should embrace my outer self as well!
Plus, I realized a couple of things while watching my mama going through her cancer period, the sickness, all the times she couldn’t eat, etc. Life is too short after all, to be on a diet. And for what?! A role model that some people decided on your behalf? No, thanks.
Now, I usually wear a size L and it’s ok. I spent months of takeout food, because I was too tired of cooking something other than what my mom needed to eat. So, I see my body now as some kind of medal for all we’ve been through and won!
I have bought many new clothes, because most of the old ones didn’t fit. I stopped caring about the number on the tag, as much as I did in the beginning.
I love my body, my body type (thin upper part and wider lower part), my mind and life!