A place called home (no.6)

Skulls and skeletons (and macabre and the relation between life and death) are definitely part of my microcosm!

They’re everywhere in the house, in my wardrobe and a lot in my art….

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The things we do in the shadows

The title of this one is inspired by “What we do in the shadows”, the 2014 movie about the lives of a couple of vampires, an amazing black comedy. I like this phrase, “in the shadows”; it’s like “behind the scenes”, where no one can see!

So, some time ago, I thought of starting a series of posts about the moments in my life that I don’t usually post about.

Well, I write about some pretty personal things, but what about all the details of life that I (and everyone else on social media) don’t write/post about?! In a blog, or in a social media platform, even the posts that don’t seem curated are curated. Maybe a bit, but there’s basically nothing raw (100% real).

Then, on second thought, I started thinking if I want to share more with the world. I share many things, but there’s a ton of others that are still private.

But, again, I would like to write about the untold details, at least some of them. Because, sometimes, in the world of social media we forget that life can’t be always worth posting!

So, what we do in the shadows?

What I do in the shadows?

Diary

The writing on the wall says “You’re love!” in greek.

I don’t usually photograph written phrases around the city, but something clicked with this one.

I like the idea of love, of falling in love, of feelings about love being expressed.

And I like the game if imagining how this phrase was written in a public place, who wrote it, when. Was it done at night? Was it done by chance on that spot? Or it was placed there for a reason, maybe for someone to see it! Did that person see it? Where they a thing? Are they still together?

Well, you can never really know, but here it is, captured!

Keep on dreaming…!

No hurt anymore

This one is dedicated to all the people that managed to leave behind them the hell and create something better and beautiful. I admire your strength. You managed a greater-than-great thing!

There’s a song by Hank Thompson, beautifully covered by Johny Cash, that’s called “I don’t hurt anymore”. It’s about the time after a heart breaking period in life, when you manage to stand on your feet once again.

I love this title/phrase and the movement towards new things that it symbolizes!

For the past month one of the most usual things in my mind is that of leaving some things in the past. I have dealt with the past and made the very best of it. And there are bits and pieces of it that are definitely part of me, in a changed form. People, situations, feelings, thoughts, habits, needs, desires, so many things! Some of them have come to the end of their era. Luckily a closure has come too. Some others are still “open cases”, but we’ll see about them. Time will show.

The thing with the things of the past is that they’re really precious and beneficial in order for you to become a better person, to help you grow, but from a certain point onward, keeping them too close to you is going to do you more harm than good.

There comes a time when the past must “close”. Stay away from the present. There comes a time you must keep results/aftermath and leave the sources behind.

To be honest, I have been thinking for some time now for ways to do that. The only idea that I had was to focus in the present. It’s hard, but step-by-step, I think I’m gonna manage to focus on what’s happening now/today, without paying too much attention in the past and without imagining too much of the future…!

It’s basically all about not hurting anymore.

And I don’t want to hurt anymore!

A time capsule

The other day, while spending a few days in my parents’ home, I opened a drawer in the room of my teenage years, and I practically found a perfect time capsule of myself, my family and the world!

The invitation of my maternal grandparents’ wedding, back in the 50s….

A series of ID photos from my teenage years….

A couple of issues of a metal music magazine I used to read as a teenager and a young adult….

Photos from the time my mother was a child and a teenager….

The booklet from the first game we played with my brother….

Pieces of magazines I was reading in my teenage years….

A photo of my favorite grandpa from when he was a toddler….

Some older notebooks/journals/notepads from my teenage years….

Tickets from the movie theater of my hometown, again from my teenage years….

Two pin up photos of my grandma, when she was in her 20s, and a letter from her from when I was a teenager….

Technology and favorite bands from the really early 00s….

A booklet from the time we were still renting DVDs….

Coins from the times before the Euro….

A vintage family photo from a picnic….

A postcard….

Some photos from when my parents had just begun dating….

And a ticket from France, from back then….

Some vintage ID photos of my great aunt, Dodo….

Well hidden

In the past few months, I have realized how much people avoid their feelings and what/those who make them feel uncomfortable. And I don’t mean the weirdos out there that give you a strange vibe, but the ones with whom you connect.

The majority of people (I might be putting too many people in the same bag here, but I believe that this category is so big) have blocked so many feelings.

And these feelings have stayed inside their mind for so long, and have turned hiding into their second nature. And have grown, but towards the inside. Well hidden. Well done.

And on the outside, the people that carry these feelings, seem good. Unless you come too close. Then there’s a big chance of seeing the shadows of all the thoughts/words that were never said. And any thought/feeling that comes after (if it’s too close to others, the well kept ones) is also hidden, joining them.

I have been there myself, at least at some percentage. And when I started working on this (for real) and opening up and expressing what I was really feeling, I didn’t really know if I should cry for my older self (who thought she was emotionally open) or if I should laugh from joy, for all the things that started opening up in front of my eyes (and mind). I did both. And I’m learning to live with my feelings in balance and making the most of it!

But, these moments when I’m taking a look at all these hidden feelings around, and the denial, and the cages that some put themselves in…. scare me a lot. I’m terrified. Because the world becomes harder this way.

This way, by being in denial, and keeping your emotions hidden, relationships are destroyed, people are hurt, chances are never realized, minds are kept in their “prison”, no truth/reality is ever put to words, and life is never lived 100%.

And being honest with yourself (this comes first, always) and others, is not easy, and it’s probably an ongoing procedure that takes years, and effort, and energy.

But, how many “what if”s can you stand, how many words untold can you live with and how many lost chances can you carry to the end of your life.

A life that can end tomorrow. Or a life that will continue for decades, until you reach a point when you’re gonna be old and grumpy and full of regret/hate for all the things in this post.

So, wouldn’t be a good idea to do something today, say something, instead of saying it all in the worst way possible when you get old?

A chance that you might not even have. But, you have today! Do something with it. 🙂