X-Men & the depression

Watching “X-Men: Apocalypse” for the third time (or maybe fourth).

The thing is that each single time I watch it, I remember the first time I did, back in 2016.

It’s so weird/beautiful/exceptional how our brains associate something with a memory/feeling/period of time.

Back in May of 2016, when the movie was released, I was going through my mental breakdown. My untreated OCD had got me to a point where I was going through depression.

I remember watching “X-Men: Apocalypse” in an almost empty theater (I love going to the movies on my own, and especially early in the afternoon, when there aren’t many viewers), feeling so down, all my emotions out of order, trying to figure out what was going on inside my head, basically wanted to scream out loud many tikes during the day.

And there she was, Jean Grey, having the Dark Phoenix deep inside her subconscious. She was basically everything I was feeling, we were going through such a similar phase.

I remember watching the movie and feeling that the scenes of Jean were the perfect visualization of all the mess inside my head.

It was quite comforting to see what I was feeling. She was screaming when I couldn’t.

And, even though that period is over, I will always have a special connection to this movie, and the character of Dark Phoenix.

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Beauty found

So, today I received the Taschen catalogue in the mail! Total surprise!

And of course there was some Star Wars in there….

A beautiful behind the scenes photo….

With a beautiful quote….

And just a detail. Look at her, how beautiful she is… and always be!

P. S. The catalogue….

Favorite words

I have seen the movie twice so far.

And cried both times during this monologue.

It’s not part of Agatha Christie’s book, but one of the additions for the movie.

And it hits really close to home for someone who’s learning that there’s no black and white, that there’s always something you didn’t know about people, for someone that’s dealing with OCD (which loves order, and certainty) on a daily basis, that has opened her/his eyes to the world from a fresh point of view, for someone like me.

“Colossal” & feminism

I know it’s been an almost 2-year-old movie, but I just finished watching and loving it for the first time!

The story: A woman that basically does nothing but partying and drinking is kicked out of the home where she lives with her boyfriend (he kicks her out). Woman goes back to her home town, meets old friend and starts working as a waitress at the bar he owns. Meanwhile, a gigantic monster attacks Seoul. Eventually, the woman discovers that she is mentally connected to the monster.

(Spoilers ahead, keep reading at your own risk in case you haven’t seen the movie. And if you haven’t just watch it! It’s worth it!)

Well, I was sceptical at the beginning and curious about where the things were heading with the plot (having studied cinema I’m not the easiest person to be amazed by a movie/script /etc). But in the end of this one I really was amazed!

A mix and match of reality (past and present) and a metaphorical story/urban legend. The woman is ruled by her addiction, her (ex)boyfriend is criticizing her all the time and treating her like she’s less than he is, the old friend is acting kind of weird and seems like he has some well kept issues with her.

Both men seem to want the best for her. But do they?

This movie is the perfect allegory of all the unhealthy (basically what we call “toxic” in pop culture) relationships that an individual can have. And it’s no coincidence that the “individual” in the movie is a woman.

Apart from all the references in addiction, substance abuse and toxic friendships in the movie, there are so many references about women and the things that they have to face each single day!

Being in an emotionally abusive relationship, being in a psychically abusive relationship, in case (for example) of a one night stand having to face all the negative criticism instead of the male partner, living in a society that a larger-than-it-should-be part of it believes that a women are somehow less than men, that they shouldn’t do things with their life, thinking that they’re weak, that they can (or should) control them!

We, women, have all been through this kind of experiences. And probably will be again. But the important thing is to love ourselves, and be friends with ourselves first of all, and follow our instinct, and our dreams and goals, and stand up for ourselves if needed. Or stand up for other women and people in case they need it.

It all starts with self-love.

And then there’s knowing your worth and your rights.

And then it’s thinking clearly, and not necessarily according to the “do’s” and “don’t s” that we were raised with!

It’s like in the movie, at the end, the heroine breaks her bonds, ends her “toxic” relationships and friendships, and starts over, with her own rules, taking care of herself first!

Practically the best thing to do.