The (exact) half of 2020 is over. Saying it’s been an interesting year so far is an understatement.
For me it started with big problems with my grandmother and her husband, who happen to live right next to me. They’re 86 and 87 now, she’s in the first stages of dementia and in the beginning of the year he fell to bed and has been in bed ever since. Not a good combo when you have OCD and in the same time you’re the first responder to a situation like that!
Then, the quarantine came, and I decided to spend it with my parents. Living under the same roof for three months wasn’t easy at all. You know when you’re in therapy you start seeing things differently….
Then the quarantine ended and it was finally time to return home. By the way, my home needs a lot of work, because there are many triggers in it and I want to work on them.
Plus, as you may understand from all the above, I’m not really happy with my life for the past months. And there are a couple more things, for example I’m very pleased with my art, but I would like it to sell more. My OCD isn’t at its best, I’m going to start medication once more (but my doctor can’t return from Sweden for now, how fun!) and I want to improve many things in general.
The number one thing that’s going well is that I have found a good man, that accepts me for who I am and also accepts my OCD. We’re even going to live together in autumn! So, even if things are kind of a mess, this keeps me going. I was planning on writing about love, relationships and mental health for some time now.
But I won’t. Because this also went sideways. A few days ago, out of the blue, my boyfriend told me that he wanted us to break up. I didn’t see it coming, because there was no indication of it coming. After all I might write about how mental health affects relationships, but from a whole other point of view than the one I was planing.
So, here I am, I’m basically unhappy with almost everything in my life right now, plus a broken heart.
The good thing is that my character helps in these situations: I’m what you call a “fighter”. And the more low I go the more I get determined to get up.
Here I’m going to document my journey with getting over my break up and putting my life back in order. And I will continue writing about mental health, OCD and my art.
See you later!