OCD Facebook groups (a no)

So, I thought of becoming a member of an OCD oriented Facebook group. And I did so!

I thought it would be interesting to read about other people’s stories and share mine. To connect with people that go through their everyday lives with OCD, like I do. Sharing opinions and ideas is always interesting. And as you can see from this blog I think it’s very important for people to share their stories, create awareness and maybe help others by showing how important it is to get proper help when dealing with mental health issues.

I found a pretty popular group and I joined; for two days.

I expected a platform of people who deal with (anxiety and) OCD, who deal with it and work with it and themselves. What I found was so different!

  • So, many people not getting proper professional help for their mental health problems. (I know it isn’t always easy to pay for therapy, but if you really want to, you can find a way to get help somehow).

Having a mental health issue, and not getting treatment for it is so bad. I have been there, and I wish I had gotten help much earlier. You practically don’t know what you have/ how to deal with whatever you have/ what kind of therapy/treatment to get. You have a struggling mind with no support. So, so bad.

  • Many people practically asking for diagnosis and help.

Internet is very helpful sometimes, but asking for help from strangers is such a bad idea! It’s one thing people sharing their stories and tips maybe, and another to ask non-professionals to tell you how to treat a mental health disorder (for which you don’t have a proper diagnosis).

  • An over-exposure to anxiety.

Well, having anxiety/an anxiety disorder is like having a crowd popping thoughts inside your brain 24/7. And that’s only you. So, I believe that being exposed in the similar situation of dozens of others, on a daily basis, makes you even more stressed and helps that cycle that’s called OCD gloriously keep going.

  • Many times people confusing character and disorder.

We should know and never forget that each one of us that has a mental health disorder, has a personality as well, and the two are totally different. We are not our disorder. And not everything that we do/deal with/think/feel is about OCD.

These are the three things that made me leave the group after only two days. I reached the conclusion that I didn’t like the whole thing and that it was potentially bad for all the other members.

Of course, there were a few people that were more collected, knew about OCD, were diagnosed and were dealing with it in the best way possible, but the main feeling of the group was all the above in the list.

I still believe that is important to tell your story, and create awareness, while in the same time dealing with it with its ups and its downs, but I guess a more structured platform would be better. Maybe a place created by mental health professionals who would be able to keep control of everything and truly help people.

And always keeping in mind, and reminding the readers, that myself (and more people out there) are not mental health specialists, but want to share our story and opinions about OCD. So that more and more people understand that it’s here, it’s real, and it’s part of our lives.

And that the best thing to do if you have any mental health issues is to get proper help, have therapy and let a therapist/psychiatrist help you solve your personal problem (it’s different for each one of us and needs to be treated differently).

Living with/out OCD (no.7)

The antidepressants are off.

The therapy is ongoing.

Big good things have happened (starting a relationship).

Bad things have happened (changes in everyday life, the health of my grandmother next door has worsen).

My “life without OCD” is on pause, because there are so many data/feelings/new situations that need to be processed by my brain. And for about a little more than a week now, all this has to be done without any help of pharmaceutical help, which basically means more work for me.

And menstrual hormones are sprinkles on top of this cake!

Well, when I tapered my medication I started realizing it effects. It’s a procedure to start over with a lesser dose. And now that they’re completely off, it’s a procedure to start over without any meds.

You see, I find this the most important thing to keep in mind: when you’re going off your antidepressants (reminders: I was on mine for my OCD/ we should never stop taking our meds without our doctor’s advice) you should keep in mind in all times that your brain needs time to adapt to the new situation. Well, it can get a bit tough at times.

At least my sweet brain has opened closed boxes. I guess there are things left to be processed inside those boxes. Or it’s just my brain wanting to see how it feels without the meds to keep the balance.

Here we go again, process/think/live through it solve. And again. And again.

Hey there, it’s ok

This one is for all of you out there that know how anxiety and its disorders feel like.

For all of you out there, that are like me. There are things that we should hear more often, and that’s what this post is all about!

  • It’s hard. Eveyday is hard. Some days more than others. And no matter how easy you make it seem to the outsiders, it’s hard.
  • You’re amazing just for keeping up and keep going with this heavy weight inside your mind!
  • You feel broken sometimes. It’s ok, you’re fine, after all, who isn’t broken (even a bit)?!
  • Definitely you have thought that you’re some kind of problematic human being, even some kind of monster. You’re not, you’re just a human being, and not everyone could handle things in such a great way!
  • Keep going. Always. It’s worth it.
  • Those days that you want the world to stop? Pause, take your time. Relax, eat your favorite food, do nothing if you need to, do whatever it’s good for you. But, never go against your own self, it’s just a bad day. It’s fine, everything and everyone will be there after your short break and better days are going to come!
  • You know you’re a fighter that is surviving his/her own mind, right? How amazingly courageous is that?!
  • You feel fragile, because you are and there’s nothing wrong with that.
  • I know how it feels, we are many, many, many out there. We know. We feel. And we keep going!

Living with/out OCD (no.3)

Things are going well!

I’m not paying attention to so many triggers during the day, but still keeping my limits so I won’t freak out and relapse. And step by step I’m expanding those limits too!

But, I realized that I almost made a huge mistake.

Yes, I’m almost off my medication for my OCD and I’m reacting so well to the absence of it! I’m taking my pill every other day and the days without it feel so much better at this point (even through there were some tough ones before).

Yes, I’m working on paying less attention to my triggers and even when I’m doing a compulsion I do it as simple, casual, task, without obsessing about it too much, or giving it too much energy and thought.

Yes, I feel more relaxed, and many more things that I can’t put to words yet. After all I have been living with OCD my whole adult life and I basically don’t know life without it, I’m starting to get a glimpse of it now!

And here comes the “almost mistake”. For the last couple of days, that I’m spending with family in the house where I grew up, I’m exposing myself to triggers almost everyday, and my childhood room is a comfort zone of sorts, but not the same as my flat. So, I’m basically too exposed! And I’m doing fine, but…. I realized that even though I haven’t thought of it at first, still, my brain slows down a bit. In general, when there’s a trigger, it feels like my brain goes into a “numb” phase so it can process the problem/trigger. It usually takes a couple of minutes, but now with my “living with/out OCD project” it doesn’t feel so strong and it turns out that it’s so much difficult to reliaze it even happens!

But, yeah, my brain still goes on “numb mode”. Just a pinch of it, making it harder to concentrate and creating a weird feeling.

That’s the mistake I almost made! I almost underestimated my OCD. Yes, things are going great, but it’s still here, and I shouldn’t underestimate its power over my brain. Apart from that, we continue living life together and working towards a future with more freedom (for me)!

Living with/out OCD (no.2)

What happens when you’re tapering (reducing the dose in order to eventually stop it) your OCD medication and in the same period of time working towards a life without OCD?

It’s a tricky thing for sure. There are weird moments, difficult days.

I’ve always been someone that felt so many things, and some of them quite strong! Then my mental breakdown happened and I started taking antidepressants for my anxiety disorder, which stabilized my brain chemistry and my feelings. And now there’s time to stop them (always under the consultation of my psychiatrist). My feelings have started running wild again!

I’m finding an older self, but in a newer version. I remember how it feels for me to feel 100%, but through all the work I have done with myself, I can now handle it better!

It can get weird at times, and not all days are easy, but I have reached to the conclusion that you have to accept and go through your feelings properly, don’t avoid or bury them.

And accept who you are. For example, I have heard so many times in my life that I should be less sensitive. But I can now say that this is me, and I’m learning to live!

Living with OCD (no.26)

Hurray!!!!

Less than a month left for my OCD medication!!

End of an era. An era of 2.5 years.

I love endings that are followed by beginnings! Something comes to an end, only for something else, new, fresh, exciting, to begin!

Apart from the work I did with myself (and I keep doing), my meds helped my brain find its chemical balance. But to be honest, I’m so happy that I won’t need them anymore. I’m excited about the things that will come, all the new found sensations/feelings/freedom. Going off them means that I have done very well so far. And this feels great!

I currently take one pill every next day. My obsessions and compulsions are under control and my mood is fine, except some grumpiness every now and then. And my sleep is getting kind of better!

My therapy is in progress, need more time to discover the why’s and the when’s, but I’m willing to go all the way, whatever I need to become a more free person and the best version of myself!

Seize the day! Yes 🎉😊