Living with/out OCD (no.11)

Well, as you have seen from previous posts, going off meds for OCD (even if it’s done in the best, most proper, way possible) is not easy. Many bad staff comes back. It’s not pleasant, but it’s a necessary part of the procedure. You take something from your brain (in my case its extra sertaline) and your brain wants it back! So, for a period of time you roller-coaster alongside it, even through you weren’t up for the ride in the first place.

So, I was thinking what are the most important things in this procedure. There are a couple, but this post is for one of them: cutting yourself some slack.

As you may remember if you have read previous posts of mine, I have managed to become a friend with my OCD. We have a type of communication and we work together when hard moments appear. After many years with the disorder, I realized that going against of what I have in my mind isn’t the best thing I could do, it can create tons of extra pressure.

When, a trigger happens, I have some kind of talk with my OCD (“I know this stress you out, we’re gonna fix it, no need to freak out, etc”). This helps me keep more calm, well as calm as I can get after all. It soothes things a bit.

Sometimes it’s like talking to my self, calming myself down.

And that self is the main theme of this post!

I know how difficult and nerve wracking having OCD can get. And we who have it (I never use the word “sufferers”, I don’t like it) and live with it each single day, are going through so many emotions/rituals/intrusive thoughts, plus all the everyday day tasks. If it sounds like a lot it’s because it is a lot. A lot for a human to handle. And it doesn’t easily go away, and it may have some relapses during the therapy procedure, and at times it can get as frustrating as it can.

We, the ones with OCD, we go through so many little “battles”on a daily basis, but I think we usually forget one simple thing that we should always keep in the back of our minds for when it’s needed: cutting ourselves some slack.

We should be good and sympathetic with ourselves more frequently. We go through these difficult situations/moments, so before/after/in between we should tell ourselves how proud we are, and how we are such good fighters, and how good we’re handling whatever comes our way.

I think we usually forget to do it and I have found out that it can make a difference.

For example, especially now that I’m going through a difficult period of time going off meds, it makes a big difference to remind to myself how far I’ve come, how sometimes I’m the bravest girl in the world. Or even, tell myself at some points that I deserve a break, some time in my comfort zone.

Our brain doesn’t always cooperate with us, but what is left if we don’t cooperate with our own selves and if we’re not good with ourselves?!

Be your own comfort if you need it, tell yourself a few good words, after all it’s doing a very good job dealing daily with the thing called OCD!

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3 quick sketches

Thought of making a couple of quick sketches about how OCD feels like.1. All the mess/thoughts creating a never ending circle with no way out.2. Sometimes a trigger comes after another trigger, and another trigger, and another. Sometimes you’re trying to get over a trigger and you stumble upon another one.3. A trigger-free state is like a pleasant/safe box. But, usually having OCD feels like a big mess.