OCD Facebook groups (a no)

So, I thought of becoming a member of an OCD oriented Facebook group. And I did so!

I thought it would be interesting to read about other people’s stories and share mine. To connect with people that go through their everyday lives with OCD, like I do. Sharing opinions and ideas is always interesting. And as you can see from this blog I think it’s very important for people to share their stories, create awareness and maybe help others by showing how important it is to get proper help when dealing with mental health issues.

I found a pretty popular group and I joined; for two days.

I expected a platform of people who deal with (anxiety and) OCD, who deal with it and work with it and themselves. What I found was so different!

  • So, many people not getting proper professional help for their mental health problems. (I know it isn’t always easy to pay for therapy, but if you really want to, you can find a way to get help somehow).

Having a mental health issue, and not getting treatment for it is so bad. I have been there, and I wish I had gotten help much earlier. You practically don’t know what you have/ how to deal with whatever you have/ what kind of therapy/treatment to get. You have a struggling mind with no support. So, so bad.

  • Many people practically asking for diagnosis and help.

Internet is very helpful sometimes, but asking for help from strangers is such a bad idea! It’s one thing people sharing their stories and tips maybe, and another to ask non-professionals to tell you how to treat a mental health disorder (for which you don’t have a proper diagnosis).

  • An over-exposure to anxiety.

Well, having anxiety/an anxiety disorder is like having a crowd popping thoughts inside your brain 24/7. And that’s only you. So, I believe that being exposed in the similar situation of dozens of others, on a daily basis, makes you even more stressed and helps that cycle that’s called OCD gloriously keep going.

  • Many times people confusing character and disorder.

We should know and never forget that each one of us that has a mental health disorder, has a personality as well, and the two are totally different. We are not our disorder. And not everything that we do/deal with/think/feel is about OCD.

These are the three things that made me leave the group after only two days. I reached the conclusion that I didn’t like the whole thing and that it was potentially bad for all the other members.

Of course, there were a few people that were more collected, knew about OCD, were diagnosed and were dealing with it in the best way possible, but the main feeling of the group was all the above in the list.

I still believe that is important to tell your story, and create awareness, while in the same time dealing with it with its ups and its downs, but I guess a more structured platform would be better. Maybe a place created by mental health professionals who would be able to keep control of everything and truly help people.

And always keeping in mind, and reminding the readers, that myself (and more people out there) are not mental health specialists, but want to share our story and opinions about OCD. So that more and more people understand that it’s here, it’s real, and it’s part of our lives.

And that the best thing to do if you have any mental health issues is to get proper help, have therapy and let a therapist/psychiatrist help you solve your personal problem (it’s different for each one of us and needs to be treated differently).

Emotional abuse (a song by Horrorpops & a reality) 

In the “microcosm” I like talking about tough subjects sometimes, but I always put some sprinkle over them. Not to make them look prettier, but just because I have a positive way of thinking about things. 

But, for this post, will be a little different, a little more… raw. So, here it goes… 

What’s the first thing that comes in your mind when you think about abuse? Maybe abuse against children? Or maybe a wife with a black eye that “accidentally fell off the stairs”? 

Yes, there are physical signs of abuse, but there is also emotional abuse. One that’s kept beneath the surface and sometimes it’s difficult even for the person that’s being abused to realize it. And many times it happens inside romantic relationships. 

I have been there, I have lived within it, I have survived, I have seen the positive side and recently its true colors/aftermath. 

I once met a boy, through a friend. And he seemed nice. I fell in love with him. We became an item. And I remember feeling so lucky that I have found a good one. 
He seemed sweet, sensitive and quite charming. All his friends loved him. He was always smiling…., especially when others were around. 

Well, the pure reality was quite different:

  • He was talking too much about his ex-girlfriend and saying mainly bad things about her, of course! 
  • He was creating arguments and scenes almost every day and especially after I had fun. 
  • He was never happy and always having a reason to complain about something or someone. 
  • He was turning conversations in such a way, so I would end up expressing my feelings to him (which was kind of forced of course, because I’m a person that needs some time to express feelings). 
  • He was extremely jealous, just by the idea that a man might look at me. 
  • He was making comments about how much I like taking care of myself and going out for walks or shopping. 
  • He didn’t want me to meet his friends. 
  • He wanted us to be all the time together.
  • Every time he was doing something wrong, he managed to turn the argument about something I supposedly did wrong. 
  • He was acting completely different in every environment (with friends, with his family, with my friends, but when we were alone it was always the worst version). 

These are some of the things that he did. 

I still remember one day that I was laughing on a video on YouTube and he said to me “Are you done?!”. I still remember that I was crying about 4 to 5 times a week. I still remember the night that I had such a great sense of danger after a fight that we had. For the story, he broke up with me, which was actually a good thing, because I don’t know when I would have managed to decide to leave. 

I still remember many things, but I have admitted to myself that I have  been in an abusive relationship and made peace with that fact, with the past, and with myself. I survived. And it wasn’t easy to return to my happy place. But I fought and created a new version of myself and my happy place, because of course the experience changed me forever, but for the best. 

The main reason for writing this post is to put a little, tiny, rock in the mountain that’s called awarness. 

Abuse is still a big taboo for our society. And though I take the responsibility for my choices, I wish that there was even one person back then that would tell me that “you know, these things are not normal, not at all, this is some kind of abuse”. I wish I have heard this from someone, and not that I was in a bad relationship, or that we weren’t a match. No! I was in an abusive relationship. That was it, that’s the reality. 

So, I’m  doing what I would like someone else to have done for me. Talking to everyone else out there… 

I’m saying that if you have a bad feeling about your relationship and the person that you’re with, chances are that it’s your instinct talking to you. If something feels really wrong, you should get out. What you’re feeling is not love. It’s just not love, love is a good thing. Abuse isn’t. Talk to others and most of all trust yourself and what your gut tells you. Trust yourself because you deserve to be loved properly and in a good, healthy, way! 

And in case you’re not in such a relationship, but know someone that is in a emotionally  or physically abusive relationship, act and help that person in every way you can, so she/he can get out of it. 

Because, abuse in relationships is here and it’s real, even its emotional version! 

P.S. Here’s the song I’m talking about in the title of the post: https://youtu.be/kDqDPp29nAE.