Not all feelings are pleasant. And maybe we want to avoid going through some off them. I know feeling lonely is one of my worst.
When we don’t want to feel something we might be in denial, maybe still feel it and try to ignore it, or hide it behind something else (maybe another feeling).
But, feelings don’t go anywhere and they’re still inside our brain no matter how hard we try to avoid them. And usually the best thing to do is to just surrender!
Do you feel angry? Do you feel sad? Do you feel lonely? Any negative feeling can feel so much better if you accept it. For example, the other night after one full day, I started feeling weird, and then a little blue, and then lonely. I tried to avoid it for a while, maybe it was the fact that I was tired, maybe my energy levels have dropped. Yes, all these might have worked as factors for my state of mind at the moment, but the base was simply the fact that I was feeling lonely! Not pleasant, but I was feeling like I was alone and I wish I could have someone around me.
And when it’s less than a month after my break up, still going through with processing things, and even though I’m moving on, there’s the cloud of the past over me sometimes, and some other times I can see the distant sun of the love stories that will come in the future. The limbo in between can get awkward and lonely.
So, feeling lonely for a while it’s completely normal. And accepted; even if I’m doing OK in general.
There’s a beautiful and liberating moment, right when you say “I can’t avoid it anymore, I’m feeling this/that way”. It’s some kind of peace. Like a small fire burning inside your chest, keeping you warm, no matter how cold things can get. In a way you accept yourself. Because our feelings are part of who we are.
And the really good news is that everything seems a little better when you stop fighting it!