It’s not a wonderful world (diary)

No photo for this one. Because I believe that there’s no match. Not 100%.

Lately, while reading articles online, looking around me, or listening to stories and news, I feel more than ever that this isn’t a wonderful world.

I have started to believe that we live in a world that goes through a massive crisis. Wars, people that run for their lives away from these wars, more and more poverty, violence, rapes, murders, fourteen eyes for one. It’s no big news, but I get the sense that things are getting a turn for the worst day by day.

All this seems so sad and scary. Seeing all the hate that grows in people. Instead of humanity becoming better, it becomes worse. Instead of the majority of people working on becoming better, we become more irritable, focusing on our image, hiding what’s not convenient, and even if we talk about important matters or taboo themes, we do it in such an intense way.

Personally, when I see and think about all these, I try to see the other side as well, the good things, the beauty of things. But it’s not always so easy.

Sometimes this idea stucks in my mind: why is the world going so wrong?!

3 quick sketches

Thought of making a couple of quick sketches about how OCD feels like.1. All the mess/thoughts creating a never ending circle with no way out.2. Sometimes a trigger comes after another trigger, and another trigger, and another. Sometimes you’re trying to get over a trigger and you stumble upon another one.3. A trigger-free state is like a pleasant/safe box. But, usually having OCD feels like a big mess.

Diary


It’s been a while.

Life keeps rolling.

I’m off antidepressants. I work a lot with my handmade jewelry/drawings/art photography/digital collages. I live everyday life with its moments and responsibilities.

Stopping the meds, even though I did it the right way, has been… pretty difficult.

With my arts I have been very productive, as always. And had a few good surprises: I was thinking of closing my Redbubble shop since I had no sales, but lately had two sales! So, now I’m working much more on creating pieces to add to it.

For my handmade jewelry I have been spending hours and hours on social media. And having a couple of photoshoots after creating a bunch of new things! And soon I’m going to reopen my original artwork Etsy shop that has been closed for a while.

Everyone, family and friends is healthy and well. And I have met a guy, a good one. So, I suppose that’s a great opportunity to start a new series of posts about OCD and love. Soon!

That’s all for now, many beautiful things coming soon!

Living with OCD (no.16)

I have always been a junkie of notebooks, notes, pens, pencils, ideas, thoughts, feelings and all things stationery and creative!

I have always been keeping notes, diaries, planning. And I have done exercises in the past, suggested by my therapist, when I had to write down my thoughts and feelings after a panic attack or write down my dreams.

Not long ago, I was keeping notes of my thoughts when it hit me: I realized that journaling could help me put my hyperactive brain in order, calm down my anxiety.

So, for the last month I have been journaling very much! I keep three different notebooks: one for my workshop, one for bed and one for when I go out. I take breaks from creating to write, it helps me re-concentrate. Journaling before and after sleep does miracles; I have been sleeping so much better since I started it. And while being out, thoughts and ideas may come, so a notebook to write them down to is always helpful!

Having anxiety or/and an anxiety disorder like OCD, can create such a “rush hour”, 24 hours a day, inside your mind. Thoughts, thoughts, worries, thoughts, worries, more worries, ideas, memories, thoughts, feelings, feelings, worries, and I can keep repeating the same words, like they keep repeating inside my mind. But you get the idea.

Writing, putting all this mess into words, is really making a difference! It helps me having a clearer mind and it reduces my anxiety.

I’m doing so much better with my OCD lately, maybe it has to do with other things too, but I believe journaling is the main reason!