Mama (a photo)

Probably my favorite person in the whole world…!

Diary

On May the 2nd, of 2017 my mama was getting into the hospital and was going to have an operation the following days. She had stage 3 esophagus cancer.

On this day, exactly one year ago, she had the operation. A big one, of 14 hours. We knew it was gonna be long, but couldn’t imagine it would be that long. And May 3rd of 2017 was the longest day of my life (so far). There were moments that the seconds seemed to go backwards instead of forward.

Days like that, or the memories of days like that, isn’t easy to forget. Even if you want to act like is one more casual day, your brain knows!

Today is one more “anniversary”. The same day with the operation of my mother, as I was going to the hospital, I had a trigger, because the taxi wasn’t that clean. And this trigger, that occupied part of my mind for the whole day, was one of the greatest helpers with the main anxiety of the day.

This was the day I started thinking of my OCD as some kind of friend. I started figuring out ways to work with it so things can become better in my everyday life.

So, 3rd of May is a big day, one of those that you can’t forget.

And, even partially, you keep reliving for the rest of your life.