Since the first session I had with my therapist, she noticed that apart from the problems that were created by my OCD, it also helped me in my life, to have a system, to create. In the past, before going into therapy, I had similar thoughts.
Back then I only believed I might have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Having all the compulsions in my daily life, sometimes I was thinking “what I would do if they would go away at some point, I was used to them, living with them”.
So, my therapist was right. And, from the start, the plan of my therapy was to keep a part of my compulsions. I ended up cooperating with my disorder, and this really helps me.
I’ve found an ideal place of cooperation with my OCD, while trying (daily) to overcome, little by little, my obsessions and compulsions.
At this point I’ve managed to have two or three mini-victories over my anxiety, daily. I have started feeling “normal” (having an OCD-free daily life), a feeling that I basically never knew, since I I’ve had OCD my whole adult life.
Living with OCD, but by having it under control… and cooperation is the key.
Lately, I think a lot about the “microcosm”. How it has changed over the years and especially how it has changed over the last months.
Yeah, since it’s basically a personal blog, it makes total sense to change with time, exactly like life does! But, sometimes, I’m thinking if someone takes a look at the posts… is he/she going to understand what the blog is about?!
So, I thought of writing a few words about… life right now.
I’m a 28 year old artist, living in a colorful house (it’s an apartment, but I like the word “home”), in Athens (Greece).
I’m practicing many forms of art (trying to make a career out of them and looking for a day job in the same time). I have three brands (one with colorful/ bohemian handmade jewelry, one with psychobilly/ macabre inspired handmade jewelry and one with my original artwork). I’m a photographer, and a crafter. I’m practicing, so I can do performance art someday.
I have ocd (I’m doing really well lately). And my mother has cancer (she’s doing well and she’s going to do even better).
So, the “microcosm” has every aspect of my life in its posts.
I hope you like the variety!
People are complicated and life is too!
For me (because for everyone is quite a different thing), OCD is….
….the damaged skin of my hands, caused by excessive washing,
….all the spots in my home that I avoid, because they are triggers,
….all the years that I had OCD, but didn’t have a name for it,
….all the panic attacks caused by triggers,
….the fuz inside my mind, that sometimes is like a million voices talking all together in the same time,
….the way sometimes even small, every day things, seem so difficult to do,
….all the unpleasant thoughts and images in my mind,
….that feeling of losing control,
….the number 4.
At first there are the ideas, the thoughts. Then the actions. And all these come again; and again; and again. And they keep coming for days, weeks, months, and if you don’t get help soon enough, years.
After some time a part of your daily life is filled with obsessive compulsions. So, life continues with a companion; an almost constant one. You get used to them and that’s a good thing and a bad one in the same time.
The best thing to do is to get help. So, you can have the best possible control over your obsessive compulsions and get better eventually.
It took me some years to reach a point where i was depressed and suicidal, and that was about the time I started getting help.
Now I’m learning to live more properly with my OCD. One day at a time.